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"Never get kissed," said Bertrand mournfully.
And felt sorry for himself. And regurgitated a comforting mouthful of food and chewed it for a while. Maybe the regurgitation was part of the problem, but he'd figured out how to handle it. He always toted around a toothbrush and a very small tube of toothpaste, a souvenir from that air trip during which he'd had that embarrassing accident in the lavatory. "When she asks me ... " said Bertrand. When she asked, when she demanded, when she pleaded to be kissed, he would excuse himself (brightly, manfully, pleading a brief need for privacy) and brush clean. The bubbles of his saliva would be fragrant with lime when they interacted, lip to lip, tongue to tongue. "But when will that be?" said Bertrand. And finally did it. Followed his granny's advice and got down on his knees and prayed. The next day, he was dawdling in the direction of the remedial pottery class when a fat girl abruptly left off slurping her icecream and splooped him right on the face with her wet vanilla tongue. "Hey!" shouted Bertrand, in outrage. "Just had to kiss you, sweetie!" said the fat girl, laughing. "That was a kiss?" said Bertrand, indignantly. But she did not answer. Had already lost interest. Was absorbed once again in her icecream. You know how it is with kisses. When they're done they're done. "Well, she's just a kid," said Bertrand. "A mature woman would be more ... more ..." More whatever it was. Not wet vanilla and a perfunctory goodbye. At the remedial pottery class, Mrs Strunghoven took one look at Bertrand, then grabbed him impulsively, forced his mouth open and shoved her tongue down his throat. Bertrand felt her slick meat sliding into his open orifice, and burped energetically. Mrs Strunghoven gagged and recoiled, spat in disgust, slapped Bertrand with the full force of her hefty right hand and sent him reeling to the floor. Then she retched. "He vomited into my mouth!" she said, unable to believe what had happened. "He vomited into my mouth!" Such was Bertrand's initiation into the world of kissing. |
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